Monthly Archives: October 2005

Inspiration to depression at the speed of google

This weekend while driving around the neighborhood my wife and I along with good friends Joani and Bill were taking notice of the ever increasing use of the blowup lawn decorations. It used to only be a Christmas thing, but these days its every fucking occasion you can think of. I was driving the other day and I swear I saw one commemorating someones sewer line backing up. It was a big grey pipe with these brown streaks floating above it.

Bill and I got to talking about what we haven’t seen and what would be interesting to see. What about a blow-up manger scene with a blow-up baby jesus and all? I’d never seen one and neither had Bill. Excellent! We agreed we would soon make millions.

The thought of sacrilege had crossed our minds and we reasoned that if you could mold baby jesus out of plastic resin, then surely you could make him out of lightweight nylon and blow air up his keester.

So I get to work this morning and Bill sends me a link he found on google.

blowupjesus.jpg

bastards.

I have one idea left. Its a decoration of the variety that is motorized in a loop of motions. Picture it in your head – a big fat santa in a red suit that slowly drops his drawers and craps on an open bible while a robotic voice says ‘Hey kids! Christmas is about the gifts! HO HO HO!’

blogging or whatever this is

i like to express my thoughts and feelings, to share jokes and photos with friends and family.

so i started this journal online.

i like the idea of writing in it and cataloging daily events and thoughts, but at the same time i feel stuck when it comes to posting new events here.

like just now i almost deleted this post before i was finished with it.

i think i have a problem with mentally being unable to overcome obstacles that either don’t really exist or are so small they shouldn’t matter.

whats up with that?

i’m pretty sure there is medication out there to fix this but i don’t believe medication is the best way to solve some problems…unless you are self medicating which i unconditionally support.

my desk

my desk is a fucking shithole. i look at it and i get disgusted with the amount of mess that has occumulated on it. there are things on here that obviously shold not be sitting around still.

2 used plastic spoons
1 used metal spoon
an old use paper napkin
a dirty empty glass empty halls wrappers
bottle caps
old drawings of no use any more
1 new nickel
misc. laminate samples
old used post-its
dried out marker pens without caps
caps that don’t match the marker pens
a 5 slot brochure holder from the bank next door
environmental reports from projects long completed
pantone books for colormatching (i’m colorblind)
an espresso cup from a closed restaraunt
4 staplers – 3 empty
various sized alagator clips
a razor knife from grizzly chewing tobacco
a ceramic owl mug (duh)
a photo of a ceramic owl mug (?)
a box of zip disks

I want to have a clean desk.

I would rather write about how dirty my desk is than clean it.