Between Ted Stevens and a tech consultant.
Tech: Basically what you need to know is that all information on the internet is transmitted in small packets of information, and they travel through vast networks, some DSL, some cable, larger networks use T1 and T3 lines some of the fastest networks use OC-12 and OC-768.
Stevens: I’m not following you. I want to be able to communicate this clearly to the rest of the congress. What are the kids calling fast internet connections these days?
Tech: Well, fast is really relative to what you are used to. But if you feel you have a fast internet connection, some people used to call it a ‘fat pipe’.
Stevens: A pipe? Like a sort of tube?
Tech: Well kinda, they are relating it to a tube, not that..
Stevens: A tube! That makes perfect sense! No wonder the internet is so slow sometimes, some big companies must be clogging the internet tubes.
Tech: Well, that can’t technica….
Stevens: Hush up for a second. Did I ever tell you about the time I asked one of my interns to send me the internet so I could review it? It never even showed up! There has to be some way to stop those big companies from clogging the tubes. They think they can just dump all their data into the tubes like dump trucks and it won’t effect the rest of us.
Tech: Well, actually a lot of people find the information from the large companies to be extremely useful, and the web would nothing but a bunch of blogging morons if it weren’t for some usable content from companies like google, yahoo and amazon.com.
Stevens: I’m sorry, did you say something? I wasn’t listening.