This weekend while driving around the neighborhood my wife and I along with good friends Joani and Bill were taking notice of the ever increasing use of the blowup lawn decorations. It used to only be a Christmas thing, but these days its every fucking occasion you can think of. I was driving the other day and I swear I saw one commemorating someones sewer line backing up. It was a big grey pipe with these brown streaks floating above it.
Bill and I got to talking about what we haven’t seen and what would be interesting to see. What about a blow-up manger scene with a blow-up baby jesus and all? I’d never seen one and neither had Bill. Excellent! We agreed we would soon make millions.
The thought of sacrilege had crossed our minds and we reasoned that if you could mold baby jesus out of plastic resin, then surely you could make him out of lightweight nylon and blow air up his keester.
So I get to work this morning and Bill sends me a link he found on google.
I have one idea left. Its a decoration of the variety that is motorized in a loop of motions. Picture it in your head – a big fat santa in a red suit that slowly drops his drawers and craps on an open bible while a robotic voice says ‘Hey kids! Christmas is about the gifts! HO HO HO!’
And yes, it really exists…
The big day has finally come. Bill’s second bachelor party, it promised baseball and beer…an honest good time, well planned out with drinks, tickets & transportation…and only a couple surprises.
The trip started perfectly, I was early and everyone else was pretty much on time, except for Weso who wanted to make sure Bill’s parent’s old house was still standing in Lemont. He was happy to report that it was still there. Our man Donovan arrived in our sparkling white limo and we were off like knights in a shining white queermobile. Seriously though…I may be focusing on it a bit too much, but six guys climbing out of a white limo at a cubs game screams something other than heteros on the prowl.
Our rainbow roadmaster in all its glory.